"Resistance" by any other name

... stagnation, blockage, pain... I've come to see these as very close cousins, or different faces of the same phenomena.

Leah, your attempt to force energy through this blockage in your back reminds me of my own shoulder/arm issues... frustrated with this distant, disconnected tissue... if only I could control my energy better, concentrate it more, push it through and experience that warm sensation of healthy flow!

Although I still think along those lines at times, I've honestly never had that much success forcing energy to go anywhere. I have come to believe that

1) energy is flowing everywhere all the time, albeit in varying quantities
2) my awareness is not qi, yet is a tool by which I concentrate qi and open the door for qi to intensify naturally ("where the mind goes, the qi will follow")
3) resistance to awareness is the main hurdle for me to overcome; clearing blockages feels more like opening than pushing...opening first to my own awareness, then subsequently to qi.
4) there are many subtle interactions, reconciliations and realignments the need to occur at the border of a stagnant area...sometimes this can take awhile.

I now see my role as less of a qi-engineer (go here, do that, faster, move along now...) and more of a facilitator... helping my body tissues and energy circuits open up to and relate with one another.

Play with this idea... of "resistance to awareness"... especially in the context of simultaneous body awareness. What is this resistance? What is stopping you from feeling with every cell in your body? From opening to your own natural qi flow?

I still play with this concept, in pretty much every session.